And They Still Use My Name

High school friends often used my name when they had gone out to party, date, or you know.  Their parents allowed them to go out when they knew they were with me.  They'll be like, "I'm going out with Innie (of course, that's not my real name)," or, "I'm still with Innie, mom."  And they will call me up at home (because I don't own a pager back then and cell phone is fairly new and I don't own one until I reached junior high) to tell me that they had gone out and told their moms that I'm with them and so on.

photo courtesy of this site

Funny, though, that people still use me as their escape from their lies.  Is it because their parents trusts me that much?  What if they got into an accident and they, the parents, will blame me?  Ugh.  I just can't understand why can't these friends of mine have the balls to just go out without involving me.  We're f-----g hitting our thirties!

An Open Letter To You

Dear You,


It was interesting to have met you and the conversation we had the last time we met.  You should be thankful that I have this much respect towards your special friend who happens to be a friend of mine for years.

Just to let you know, I do a lot of stuff to make a living (well, some of it doesn't pay good, but still, it pays my bills).  Like a lot of stuff.  Most people that I know are like, "You should try to focus on one thing and not do everything."  I'm f-----g tired of hearing these things over and over again.  I'm also tired of explaining.  Well, I can't even remember explaining myself to them because knowing that they have closed minds, why exert an effort on explaining, right?

What ticks me off are those people who I barely know (and who barely knows me as well) saying those remarks.  And, yes, I'm referring to you.

First, we are not close.  You just happen to be a "special" friend of my friend.  So that doesn't make us buds, okay?  Second, why judge me in the first place when I'm not judging you on what you do.  I do understand that it was your opinion although I don't think it is an opinion because you've been pestering me the entire dinnertime about the matter.  You're trying to control my life by saying those words--to conform with the norm.  I'm not like that.

Just so you know, I've never been much happier with my life right now.  Ever.  Yes, I don't earn that much money than I used to, but I'm way happier with the things I do and going on because I'm living my life.  I do things what I'm passionate about.  And I make a god damn use of the talents that are given to me and not shove it off like most people, like you, does.

Just to make things clear, I have a forte, because you're asking if I know what I want.  I f-----g know what I want and I'm living it right now.  But I still do well with other fields that I take--that's why I have numerous projects lining up.  And working as a freelancer is never easy.  Finding projects are one of the most difficult tasks being a freelancer.  Since I don't get to have projects on the same field every day, might as well schedule other projects of different fields that needs my skills and talents.  Again, I have to earn!  I have bills to pay.  Not unlike you who have a business going on, which I really am not in favor of, but I keep it to myself and not question you whatsoever because that's how you want to run your life and it's not my business.  So, please, do the same thing with me.

I don't know if you're just f-----g insecure about my talents.  That you are one of the most oppressed people because you didn't get to chase your own dream.  I don't know if you are just concerned because you are intending to propose a business with me.  Well, hell, no!

Questioning me about me being in a band.  You're just like mom.  It's all about the money.  You're like, "are you earning from it?"  F--k.  Don't you ever have a hobby?  An outlet to let your creative juice flowing?  An inspiration to keep you going?  All those doesn't give you money in return.  It's an investment to make you live your life.  That's why you have a f-----g job or business so you could earn!  Why include your hobby in it?  Well, if you earn from your hobby in the long run, that's great news!  Most businesses/artists that I know these days started from their hobbies.  And to let you know, when I'm inspired, I get to focus more.  So stopping me from the things I do is a no-no.  You just lost my respect.

Oh, another thing, I'm annoyed with the way you converse with people--using jargon and metaphors trying-to-impress-hey-I'm-so-intelligent-kind-of-guy shit.  F-----g use normal words that is easier to understand because most often than not, people will misunderstand with the bull you're saying.  We're not in a classroom or Downton Abbey series trying to be formal and know-it-all.

Just an advice, grow up.  You're f------g old and you don't know shit.



Regards,

Seriously, People! #1

The past few weeks has been stressful for me since I spent most of my time thinking, brewing something for my 'plans.'   I'm thinking of sharing it with you, but on the right time.  Today is too early for me to share it, I think.

Anyway, few weeks ago, I have had some interesting encounters and musings.  But let me start with LeBron James coming to the Philippines.  I'm not a basketball fan, never will, even if my future man is a great fan of it.  I will never conform to what he likes anyway because I have my own interests.  Going back, people had lined up at BGC area to get hold of free tickets to see him in the flesh at Mall Of Asia Arena.  Hmm.  Well, I think it's free, why not grab it, right?  I think I'd do the same thing if it's my favorite band or artist who will come over and the admission is f*****g free.  And I guess I'm just not really a fan of this basketball star.

But what's my point?  My Facebook newsfeed is full of updates on his presscon, which reminded me that I should unsubscribe from this news network that posts crap about nonsense.  Yes, it's nonsense to me.

Then the same newsroom posted a status:

 LeBron James: I can't believe this is my first time here. It's definitely not my last.

Why on earth ask the same f****** question to every celebrity that comes over in our precious country?  Of course, they will, obviously, say f****** good things about our country, or the capital on this matter because, first, that's what we want to hear, and second, they want to have a good image to their fans.  Why make it on the news?  But I have absolutely no problem with him (and other celebs) saying the exact same thing over and over again if they really mean it.  It's just that I find it very cliche.  I actually commend those couple of celebrities who were blunt about their stay here in the Philippines, and they, eventually, got banned from our precious country because of the sensitivity of Filipinos.  Us, in general, can't accept criticisms.  Blech.  That's why our nation doesn't grow.

--

I just went to a gig the other night.  I've been around the music scene for so long and I'm the type who's a fan of some artists that I get the chance to meet in person due to my work but don't get to ask for a photo or an autograph.  Why?  Well that's because I can totally feel (and know) that MOST artists doesn't like too much attention when they're offstage.  They can't move as much as they want to because they spend most of their time for photo ops.  They can't smoke alone because they're bombarded with crazy fans.  They can't internalize before they go onstage because of the fans, again.  But I'm not saying they are not willing to spend time for those shit.  It's just that let them approach you first, talk to you guys, say hi or smile towards your group, which is the clear signal that they are up for meet-and-greet and not the other way around.  Or the best way for them to talk to you is to treat them like a normal person, not a die-hard weirdo fan that will freak them out.  After all they're just like us, they just have these great talents.

And, yes, innies are really sensitive to tensed environment or what's going on even though no one's speaking.  We observe, a lot.  So our job is to pacify things or give some space towards the person involved.